doormilona

 "i'm so sick of your sense of entitlement"

let's break this down. YOU baby sister, metal monkey. 'M are verb, embodiment, condition, SO consequence, purpose, addition, degree, SICK perturbed, annoyed, vexed, hurt OF preposition part, piece, amount, group, MY metal dog, SENSE air, attitude, of ENTITLEMENT 

do i stand with israel? it doesn't stand for me, it doesn't like that i even exist. all my funny little stories, my swiss lineage, our beloved bahai faith, in which my dad becomes your stepdad, so many bendy rules of succession as we enter an aquarian age. am i entitled to inherit what we built as a hollywood version of religious patrimony in central america? absolutely. i have no children. 

and what did we build? a staging aria. a place that is mostly built but desperately hurried filled with dead spaces that retain all the violence of sickness, the hoarding of neglect, the rife and the cancer, eleven years of custom built diapers, short bursts of visits from abroad and so many goodbyes. we built it, that's our information technology. we also filled it with prayer and song, with music and madness. hours. family. 

i don't live on the phone. i do not like the phone. and i do not care for one people. we built and lived in our home two years before there were telephones in it, we paid $1.30 per minute, to ICE to call haifa so i could talk to MY non-israeli american grandparents. two people. 

sickness is a sign of weakness and fear. our bahai prayers ask us specifically to not be of those who doubt. so to anger at someone else's sense of anything is mental, meant to confuse. and i do not get sick, i get even. there is no "baha'i way" of doing anything, unless you have christ in your heart. we cannot think and feel at the same time. 

it's become a casting couch, we're all auditioning for favorite, from a stand-in of the good ship lollipop.  that's how we're healing. making places of comfort for the tired to have a proper rest in, for the overstimulated to sleep soundly and restore braincells from all this thinking, and thoughtless feeling. hostería y estancia. the business of family, the network of home.