at my birthday, i asked the universe to be really specific about the first person i'd see. it was sakae cortazi, a friend from childhood, one of four brilliant sisters. she stopped by casually for a visit. today, i did not ask the universe to see anyone and i saw sakae again. she stopped her car in the street to offer me a lift home even though she was going the opposite direction. she was with sister layla and some persian dude in the back seat.
at the birth of this new era, it's a drag not having any more real people to make polite conversation. real people have mostly crystalized post covid into chimeras of their former selves. i was already dismissed by most people, then i became invisible. not in presence but in conversation, even polite, misunderstood to vexation.
i am the conjunction of mars and venus in gemini. nobody has ever taken anything i have to say, seriously. add mercury in natal taurus fifth house and i'm fun for everyone but never appreciated by anyone. like trump, i don't lie i just both sides the shit out of every argument. right will always prevail.
i used to drink to be able to tolerate other people. most of the things i wish to say to people, to me, are encouraging, joyful, matter of fact, useful bits of information and trivia. when people ask me why i say what i do, it makes me want to use words that hurt them. drinking helped accrue broader information and deeper understanding about the disgusting, shallow lives most people celebrate.
the game is, or was always, don't let anyone know.
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario