la última finca: loneliness

loneliness

loneliness is being the first kid dropped off and the last one picked up from nursery school.

loneliness is educating yourself through 8 schools in 4 countries

loneliness is being lied to by adults about health and sex and war.

loneliness is being told secrets as a child only to be held hostage to them when you grow.

loneliness is being the first kid dropped off and the last one picked up from nursery school.

loneliness is being lied to by adults about health and war.

loneliness is being told you don’t know what you’re talking about when you do.

loneliness is sitting in the back seat of the car, of the truck with the dog, in the tiny office listening to norah jones.

loneliness is watching your dad die of cancer and lies on television.

loneliness is never memorializing him with family or just not being invited to his memorial.

loneliness is being told to leave a job when you’re over qualified.

loneliness is having to study what others think in order to qualify for having thoughts of your own.

loneliness is never having enough money long enough to save even a little.

loneliness is being told by those younger than you that you are a dissappointment to them.

loneliness is being refused entry to your only home by a guest of that home.

loneliness is being told by a brother that he’ll make your life a living hell if you try to come home.

loneliness is being told by your mother that you make her sick and that she never wants to live anywhere near you.

loneliness is knowing children listen to what grownups talk about.

loneliness is being a subject of grownup discussion.

loneliness is being held in contempt by children for having a childlike disposition.

loneliness is when people tell children you don’t want to work.

loneliness is being called names that aren’t your own and then told to acquiesce.

loneliness is being kept awake by a sister all night and then told by that sister that you’re poor and you don’t pray hard enough.

loneliness is knowing your only real friends are dead.

loneliness is being unable to ask anyone for help.

loneliness is the snowball effect of betrayal and neglect.

loneliness is reading about all the ways that you’re loved online once after a lifetime of the former.

loneliness is having to make yourself small and scarce in the hopes maybe you’ll be missed.

loneliness is the sweet relief that a cold beer has on all these objections to your mere existence.

loneliness is having hemp, your one real, natural solution for life be mocked by those who have enriched themselves by artifice and mining.

loneliness is knowing every great hero is reviled for speaking truth.

loneliness is giving up and giving in to spirit because nobody ever listens or tries to understand.

i am one of the loneliest people you will ever have the good grace to know.

loneliness is being told you don’t know what you’re talking about when you do.

loneliness is sitting in the back seat of the car, of the truck with the dog, in the tiny office listening to norah jones.

loneliness is watching your dad die of cancer making his own nappies in the bask of televised lies.